Okay ladies, let’s start by confessing to some truths. We have this tendency to hold guys involved in athletics on a pedestal. It’s not like this scale of value is attached to our brain when judging them; it kind of just happens naturally. It’s hard enough to put ourselves out there to land a guy, but the second we learn that he’s a college football player…well, we just start losing our morals.

See the thing is, these guys know that they’re top-notch. I mean he’s a human like the rest of us, but the difference being he’s about 100 pounds heavier than that lanky ex we dated in high school, 10x faster than the ex who ate his feelings after we dumped him, and has to do 5x less talking than the nice guy who never got himself out of the friend zone. What we don’t seem to understand is that he’s only concerned about getting the most wins at the end of the season. If he can find something meaningful in the process, well that’s just an added bonus.

So how does he get from the starting line to the end zone? With options, lots of options. Initially, the QB throws the ball to a player who’s available and within good reach. In the dating world, the guy throws himself out there for a girl that he’s initially attracted to and can easily impress. He puts on his chivalry-like façade that he’s not like the rest of them, “accidentally” strolls his way down to her dorm room from time-to-time and next thing you know, he’s in the end-zone and about to score.

That’s how dating is perceived to most guys in college. To them, it’s not a process, but a goal. Whether he passes the ball to the girl he wants to sleep with, the girl he’s going to use to benefit academically or the girl he genuinely falls for, guys are concerned about scoring solely. But what happens when he does get the girl? What’s next? It’s like he’s at the 50-yard line with no game plan. Getting the girl is only half the battle, fellas.

Long story short: There needs to be discipline in dating. Firstly, guys need to stop pouncing on the first hot girl they see and girls need to stop thinking the first guy that shows interest is the guy to invest in. It’s all about disciplining yourself to make the appropriate plays down the field. Guys can’t just throw the ball to the first open player they see and girls can’t just accept what’s coming to them with open arms, because it’s tall, dark and handsome.

Secondly, observation is key! You’re not going to learn everything about each other right away. They say the best way to understand one’s true colors is by seeing how they react in times of victory and especially in times of defeat. So ladies, keep a close eye when he loses a game during the season. Does he go back to the field and improve his game or does he go out with the guys and drink his life away? That decision alone says a lot about him…and whether he has a chance with us to begin with.

With that being said, dating is like football, but it shouldn’t be. Let’s take a step back and rewrite the playbook.