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Tag Archives: mtv

Why Sex Compares to Ice Cream

13 Monday Jul 2015

Posted by Kitten Slatko in Dating Tips, Relationships, Romance, Sex Advice

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Let’s talk about sex baby.  As a woman,  it’s still considered taboo for me to say yes,  I like sex,  in fact,  I love it.  It feels good physically,  it makes me feel good mentally (who doesn’t feel more desirable after really amazing sex?!),  it’s good for you (uh hello – a workout without needing a gym membership!) and it’s good for your relationship.

No matter how far the world has come and I’m not claiming to be the loudest, proudest feminist, but world, hi, we’re still very judgmental of women who proudly express their sexuality, and judge and shame them for being loud and proud of their sexual desires and preferences (think, Miley Cyrus).

But let’s have a little chat shall we?  Enough is enough already.   We know that sex is healthy,  it boosts the immune system,  it’s a great workout,  it boosts our mood.   It also improves intimate connections with our lovers. But,  let’s chat about something super important here, good sex,  bad sex and the people we have it with.   Personally,  being a person who craves good sex,  I get bored easily when the sex I’m having is what I call,  plain vanilla,  and from here on out we shall compare sex to ice cream,  because sex comes in so many flavors and we all have the choice to pick the ones we want, Just like ice cream.

 

There’s nothing wrong with plain vanilla,  it’s sweet,  but dull, especially if that’s all you have, every day forever.  And if that’s all I had for the rest of my life,  I’d survive, but be bored to tears.  Currently being unattached means,  I get to decide when,  where, with whom and how I enjoy my ice cream, and all it’s amazing flavors,   and I refuse to be shamed for that. if you’re anything like me, you have that one person who you connect with on every level,  except in the bedroom.

 

I won’t deny,  in my life I’ve had many lovers who there was zero connection with on any level, but it didn’t matter,  the spark, wasn’t there at all.  When you meet that person,  and everything fits, they’re supportive,  make you get those happy butterflies, but as soon as you hit the sheets,  it all falls apart,  and no matter what you try, fail.  For me that person is someone I’ve cared about forever, everything is right when we’re together, we have a million things in common, in fact I could call him my twin,  but no matter how hard we try, something disconnects.  The listening isn’t there,  I go in expecting miracles,  and leave let down, (that’s not to say it’s a miserable experience, it’s just not fireworks) it breaks my heart.   The thing I’m always left wondering is,  why, when I’m attracted to someone so much in all other ways, why is the sex sometimes so vanilla?!  And should we settle for vanilla sex if everything else is great.  I think,  the answer is no, but as always,  for some people,  it may be yes. Sex to me,  is high priority,  I’ve already mentioned I love it,(I have mentioned that right?)and so a great relationship without great sex,  won’t be great,  it will be vanilla.  And this is why.  Women for years,  have been told,  hide your sexuality,  suppress that side of yourself,  so if you entered a relationship and the sex was so so,  well,  OK,  but you should just accept that maybe, that’s normal.   Or even that maybe the problem was you, you frigid hag!  (as if! Trust me,  it’s not you). A good relationship requires food sex,  maybe some like it a little more vanilla than others, but the sparks gotta fly,  both in and out of the bedroom.   The truth is.  Sometimes relationships work and sometimes they dont.  And sexual chemistry is a huge part of a relationship.

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5 Ways to Avoid Being Catfished on a Dating Site

02 Saturday May 2015

Posted by Jason Sherman in Dating Tips, Horror Stories, Online Dating, Relationships, Video dating

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Android, catfish, catfish mtv, catfished, dating, dating app, Dating Apps, dating online, facebook, hinge, instagram, instamour, iPhone, live free video chat, live video chat, Marriage, messaging, mtv, okcupid, online dating, pinterest, plenty of fish, plentyoffish, relationship, sex tips, snapchat, socialcam, vine, youtube

catfish

I can’t tell you how many times I talk to somebody from a dating site and after exchanging phone numbers, pictures and finally making plans to meet up, they tell me how they have recently been catfished. It’s funny because when I tell them what my tech startup does, they instantly say what a good idea it is and how they wish they had known about it sooner. The funny thing about being catfished is that is has been happening for decades and nothing has changed in the online dating industry to help people avoid it.

There are definitely ways people could avoid being catfished (besides my app). Some of the ways may be obvious to you, but for some reason, not everyone abides by these unspoken rules:

1. Make sure the person you’re talking to has at least a couple of full body pictures in their dating profile. Head shots don’t count because they could be hiding a 300 pound body underneath that beautiful selfie.

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2. NEVER meet up in person before seeing said full body photos. This is the ultimate catfish syndrome.  You are attracted to someone’s photos, but then not being attracted to their body. There are some of us (including me), who actually prefer women who have a little more meat on their bones. But for those guys or girls out there that don’t, it’s always best to show what you have up front.

3. Do your research. You can easily Google someone and look up their social networks to find out a lot about them, especially their LinkedIn profiles. Wouldn’t you rather find out if the guy or girl is a creep? Or just to find out if they have different tastes or a different personality than you do before investing your time, money, and emotional energy in meeting them in person?

4. Try your best to convince the person who you are talking to, to have a video chat with you, whether Skype, FaceTime, or other apps (shameless plug), to break the ice and have a first date to find out if there is any chemistry.  A face to face video chat is by far the best way to get to know someone besides meeting in person.  You can see their smile, hear their voice (and laughter), and get a good reading on if you are a match.  Is he / she laughing at your jokes?  Are your eyes connecting? Is their house a mess? Does she have 17 cats? Does the guy have all his hair and teeth?  Stand up in front of a mirror and show yourself right then and there to show what you look like TODAY, not 10 years ago!

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5. The worst part about being catfished, is being stuck on a date that you don’t want to be on. So the best way to avoid this is to not have a first date be a long dinner or a show, or a movie, or anything that requires you to be seated with this person for more than an hour. Take a walk in the park, grab a coffee, a quick beer, an ice cream, something quick and simple that you would otherwise enjoy by yourself or with a friend.  That way it’s not awkward and you are not stuck for a long time if you need to make a quick exit.

I can’t believe that there is still an overly abundant amount of people getting catfished out there.  I hear it every day, and nothing is being done to change it, with all the dating apps out there, not one of them helps avoid this and I think it’s crazy. I’m glad to be in business of helping people avoid being catfished forever.

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Why Everybody has Somebody Else on the Side

21 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by kristinlasalle in Dating Tips, friendships, love, Love at first sight, marriage, Men seeking women, movies, Music, Online Dating, Press, Relationships, Romance, Sex Advice, Single Parents, trends', Uncategorized, Video dating, women seeking men

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Android, communication, date, dating, dating app, dating tips, facebook, first date, hinge, instagram, instamour, iPhone, live free video chat, live video chat, love, Marriage, match, messaging, mtv, okcupid, online dating, pinterest, relationship, snapchat, twitter, video, vine, youtube

If you ever end up being the other woman you will always get negative opinions and people stereotyping you.  So you can read  this and judge me, or this might relate to you.  In the end, this is the reality: people cheat. I have been on both sides, I have been the girlfriend and have had my heart broken by cheating boyfriends. I was cheated on every other day by my child’s father who I was engaged to, so my fairy tale life was shattered…I get it. It’s never a good thing, but it happens to most people in their lifetime. After we split six years ago I was back in the dating world and have had my own dirty secrets. From meeting different men with different likes, backgrounds, sexual fetishes, and careers – to hearing their different opinions on monogamy, such experiences can change ones’ entire outlook on love. My views at 22 vs 32 are completely different and more realistic.

For example I was in an emotional / friendship / affair situation with a taken man who helped me through a very difficult and confusing time in my life.  It was a grieving transition after my mother passed away. We related to each others’ pain since he had gone through something similar the year before.  I felt safe to share my darkest feelings and fears with him.  We also had an instant connection like nothing I have ever felt before when we first met. You can read about it in my blog “Why Love At First Sight Is Just Like A Fairy Tale.”  We didn’t get caught, but I’m sure if we had, I would have felt terrible.  If I hadn’t thought we were a match, then this wouldn’t have continued as long as it had.

I’ve always liked the saying, “Everyone comes into your life for a season, reason or lifetime.” Well I think this actually served a purpose and it was for a reason. And now that I saw over a year pass and my feelings never altered and I could see him as more then just a crush I can honestly say,” I love so much about him, mostly his kind heart.” Maybe this situation I had will grow to a lifetime…I don’t know yet.  The best part is, I know all you ladies are shaking your head reading this but we never had sex. So not all affairs are about sex.  Some are about timing, some of us have bad timing and some of us are settling for the wrong people. Sometimes we have to be in bad relationships with the wrong people to actually realize what we do and don’t want in our most important relationship. The relationship that will matter the most, I don’t know about you – but I only want to get married once. So all this trial and error will hopefully pay off.

Dating the last couple of years hasn’t been as easy as people think.  It’s not like it was in my younger years.  My girlfriends always say, “Oh you are pretty, and fun and you have a good head on your shoulders any guy would be lucky to date you.”  Not true. Every single, successful guy with a good head on his shoulders that is the least bit educated has about twenty other girls just like me waiting in the line of hope. They want to snag him up and they have a bag full of tricks to do so.

The most memorable romantic movies usually consist of one or both of the main characters being in a relationship or affair with someone else other then the person they are supposed to be in love with.  Usually the other relationship is all wrong for that character and they are simply not happy or they just broke up with someone who is a disaster for them but they want them back.  Sometimes it’s an arranged marriage or a twisted relationship they are forced into for money or prestige and they feel like they are a prisoner without an escape. Take some of the greatest movies ever and without the plot of this “other relationship.”  Would it be interesting enough to watch, would there even be a legit climax? For example: Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Serendipity, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Notebook, Titanic, Princess Bride. The list goes on, but point proven – this is what makes romantic movies memorable!

In a article posted by Carlie Alexa of CNN a poll of 3,000 people concluded that 1 in 5 people who are in relationships and married are actually in love with someone else. This gives validation to me that the divorce rate is up for a reason people are not thinking straight they are just settling with the idea of having someone even if it’s all wrong. This goes back to my theory that don’t settle for anything less then extraordinary there is a bigger plan for you. Go make mistakes, date the wrong people, get your heart broken, break some hearts yourself justify have some real fun and stop worrying. Once you find him or her and believe me you will know they will basically smack you right in the face you won’t miss it don’t let them go!!

Until next time here’s my quote of the day : “The moment when you realize that you were always the right person. And Only ignorant people walk away from greatness.”
― Shannon L. Alder

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Rivers Monroe Inspires Us, Fears Nothing, and Warped Tour!

25 Wednesday Mar 2015

Posted by getloveorgetlucky in Dating Tips, friendships, international, love, Love at first sight, Music, Online Dating, Press, Relationships, Romance, Sex Advice, Uncategorized, Video dating, warped tour

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communication, date, dating, dating app, Dating Apps, dating online, dating tips, facebook, hinge, instagram, instamour, iPhone, live free video chat, live video chat, Marriage, messaging, mtv, music, pinterest, plenty of fish, sex, snapchat, threesome, tinder, twitter, vans, video chat rooms, video online chat, vine, warped tour, youtube

 

As I walked into Venturef0rth to meet my team, they kept telling me I was going to love the band they sponsor. “They’re so nice!”  After hearing about how sweet they were about 10 times, I was not psyched to write this article.  Nice is boring.

Then they walked in and I was even less psyched.  They looked like every other hipster, pop band I see featured in Rolling Stone Magazine.  Cute and young with shortish hair. They were downright wholesome.  One of them doesn’t even drink and I’d bet a million dollars none have even seen heroin.  And they were so affable.  Wholesome and affable is boring.

The interview started as banal as possible.  They talked about liking girls.  (How fascinating!) They talked about how girls inspire lots of their songs.  (Who would have thought?) They admitted being musicians helped them get girls.  I could have interviewed any pop band in the country and gotten the same insipid answers.

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But, then I started asking about their tattoos and got inspired by them.  Mike Monroe, the singer, has the words, “Fear Nothing” written boldly across his chest.  That motto got him through his personal struggles.  Once the conversation went there, I saw into their hearts and souls.  I  saw a lot of depth.

They have been creating and performing music for a long time.  They have sacrificed all to their passion and their band.  There’s no steady pay check.  Relationships are damn near impossible. Women initially say they can handle being a mistress to the music – which always comes first.  They are on tour or they are writing music or they are recording it . The women eventually realize they can’t handle it and they leave.  All are old enough to have wives and kids and white picket fences.  None of them do.

“Fear Nothing”.  What was the meaning of that to him, I asked Mike.  All the band members answered in unison.  It means. don’t fear the poverty that is anathema to being a musician before the band makes it.

It means, don’t fear the obstacles you encounter along the way.  Don’t fear the rejection. Don’t fear working your ass off for years without success.  Don’t fear the women leaving because you are broke and never home.

These cute, young affable guys who look like they don’t have a care in the world, know struggle.  Nothing about the real them is boring.  They have overcome their struggles by living their motto, “Fear nothing.”

They are there, like brothers, to help each other.  When one can’t pay his bills, the others chip in.  Yes, they really are “nice”.

July 4, 2014

Mike has another tattoo.  It says “Patience”.  That says all you need to know about this band.  During the climb they have “No Fear” because they know patience is the key. Persevere and you will get there.  They have the talent.  They believe it will happen.  So they are making it happen.

Now they are performing at the Warped tour.  This is a huge achievement of which my team and I are super proud of them for reaching.  They have tons of fans.  They are coming out with a new album (Smart Girls) and the excitement is in the air.

I have struggles in my own life.  My divorce derailed my career.  I spend half my days in custody court or preparing for it.  I question whether or not my writing and my comedy products will ever get off the ground.  I was inspired by Rivers Monroe today.  I’m going to go home and try to live their motto.  Can I have no fear?  Can I have a strong enough belief in my talent to endure the climb with patience.  I sure as hell am going to try.

You have struggles. When you feel like giving up think about Rivers Monroe and “Fear Nothing,” and believe in yourself.  That should give you the patience to persevere to get through the broke times and the lonely times and life.

 

 

 

 

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Why Love at First Sight is Just Like a Fairy Tale

24 Tuesday Feb 2015

Posted by kristinlasalle in Dating Tips, Love at first sight, marriage, Online Dating, Relationships, Romance

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Android, Apple, communication, date, Dating Apps, dating online, dating tips, facebook, first date, hinge, instagram, instamour, iPhone, iphone6, love, mtv, new app, okcupid, relationship, sex tips, tinder, youtube

tumblr_n5s5zxanXO1tq9q5vo1_1280.jpg (1162×752)People always ask me if love at first sight really exists? Personally I believe it does. I don’t believe that it’s like fairy tales or the movies, where it happens overnight. You meet your Prince Charming, fall in love, get married, buy a house in the suburbs, and have 2.5 kids.  You live happily ever after and invite everyone to your 25th anniversary party. I think when it  actually does happen, it overpowers us with intense emotion.   Sometimes it’s so powerful, we don’t know what to do with it when we have it.  Timing really is everything when it comes to the subject of love.  Maybe that is where they came up with the term “The one that got away.” If the timing is off in our lives, well this rare event could go to waste if the right action is not taken during the initial meeting.

I have only experienced love at first sight three times in my life.  Once in high school, once in college, and once as an adult.  Scientists say that you are only romantically compatible with one out of 100 people that you meet in this lifetime.  The real question to this scientific fact is:  Do I have more of a chance of experiencing the love at first sight phenomenon (since I meet thousands of people) vs the average person who may be an introvert and whom has less opportunities with their career and social circle as I do?

Since dating and courting has never really changed since prehistoric times and online dating has become the revolution and taken over, does this mean that we have a better chance of meeting the one?  I guess it wouldn’t be called love at first sight per say, but instead: Love at first profile picture.  And how much love can you get from a photo?

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I realized that each time I had this feeling they all had these three things in common. Firstly, I met them in person, secondly I looked at them directly in the eyes.  They say that eyes are the windows to the soul.  I’m very attracted to kind and beautiful eyes. They are my favorite part of the physical body.  Eye contact is very important when falling in love.  It has been proven that it only takes 8 seconds of full eye contact to know if you are attracted to the object of your desire and will pursue them further. Lastly, they all made me chase them a little.  I don’t think it’s just men that hunt.  I disagree with this cliche.

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Love at first sight is a mutual feeling or its not the real thing.  That’s just called infatuation and it wears off after a couple of weeks.  This story is one that will be continued.  All I can say is, for now never give up on love, mostly love at first sight.  It does exist and this is coming from someone who is experiencing it.

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The Almost Boyfriend and Why Dating is so Tough

20 Friday Feb 2015

Posted by kristinlasalle in Dating Tips, friendships, Horror Stories, international, love, marriage, Men seeking women, Online Dating, Relationships, Romance, Sex Advice, Single Parents, trends', Video dating, women seeking men

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advice, Android, answers, catfish, cosmo, date, dating, dating app, dating online, hinge, instagram, instamour, iPhone, kardashian, live free video chat, live video chat, love, Marriage, match, mtv, okcupid, romance, sex, snapchat, texting, tinder, vine, youtube

Friends with benefits. - WOULD IT BE SO AWFUL IF I CHANGED MY FB NAME TO I want to preface this by saying that I have literally been single for six years.  My dating life usually consists of one date and then they never answer my calls again or 3 dates and we become friends or the infamous “almost boyfriend” situation.  The “Almost Boyfriend” situation is a tricky one.  It’s where you have a really nice guy that acts like your boyfriend.  He treats you like his girlfriend, and his actions say you’re my one and only. But his words say nothing about being exclusive.

Things are good, he takes you on lots of great dates, he opens the car door for you, he tells you that you are beautiful, he brings you to his functions as his plus one. You even talk about the future and have met his family. In your head you are thinking this seems a lot like a relationship. You are now sleeping over 2 to 3 times a week and planning vacations and talking about getting puppies. But when you actually ask the big scary question “Are we exclusive?” He will mostly answer like this as you are approaching the 6-8 week mark” “Things are great and we are still getting to know each other, I was burned in my last relationship.” He will look at you with the most sincere look as if he was begging you with his eyes not to rebut his answer.


You reply “Yes things are great but I don’t feel comfortable with you being sexual with anyone else, I like what we have.” Then he will look at you with puppy dog eyes and say,”Babe I’m not sleeping with anyone else and I don’t have time for any other girl. I’m so busy with work and I just want to spend my spare time with you.” This answer makes you feel at ease and you both change the subject to a lighter note, and have yet another wonderful date. The problem is this touchy subject will come up on your next date night.  Believe me, its not over yet.  I guess the questions you will start to ask yourself about this “Almost boyfriend“ situation are these three detailed questions:

1. How long is too long before making it official ? Should it be 4-6 weeks or 6-12 or after consistent sleep overs and the toothbrush is in the bathroom?

2. What’s the hesitation? What does he need to know before making that ultimate decision? Does he need a push so you both don’t waste anymore time. Does he need   you to set up a one on one speed date featuring your life story to show him your character or do you need to give him a mini autobiography or outline of your 5 to 10 year goals. What does he need?

3. Should you withhold great sex so you’re not just feeling used or basically in a friends with benefits situation?

After you figure out why he’s not making it official maybe its time to move forward to someone who will want to put your mind at ease instead of being the “Almost boyfriend” and leaving you high and dry as soon as something more fun comes along.  Someone that is not asking him questions about commitment. Don’t be surprised when you are heartbroken!

When you ask him what happened I bet he replies, ”I never said we were together exclusively we were just dating and getting to know each other why are you acting crazy?”

What do you guys think: Get a label on it or just keep dating?

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Why One Direction Being Snubbed at the VMAs is the same as Being Rejected on a Date

23 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by Jason Sherman in Dating Tips, Home, Online Dating

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britney spears, dating, Dating Apps, dating online, facebook, hinge, instagram, instamour, justin bieber, love, mtv, okcupid, one direction, online dating, pinterest, plenty of fish, relationship, snapchat, socialcam, tinder, video online chat, vma, vmas, youtube

one-direction5-460x357

Even though One Direction is a successful new band that has been touring all around the world, it seems as if the MTV VMAs didn’t give them any love this year.  They didn’t get ONE nomination.  That’s pretty sad, especially with how riveting their story is.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan (and I’m not a 14 year old girl), but I think these guys deserved at least a damn nomination.  They came together on the show X Factor as single acts, became a group, and best friends.  Then they started to form a fan base without even trying, and soon became superstars.  They weren’t the only ones that got snubbed, there are various videos (SheKnows – James Dinh) that didn’t make the cut.  The boys of One Direction have worked hard to create their music, their image, their fanbase, and ultimately respect from the music community.  So to be snubbed at the VMAs without any nominations has to feel a lot like being rejected on a date.  Remember, being snubbed at the VMAs is basically society telling you, that you are not worthy.

Miley-Cyrus-performance-at-MTV-VMA-2013

So this made me think to myself, if I have been also rejected on a date, was I “snubbed” by society?  It sure seems like it, and now I feel even worse about it.  I’ve worked hard to get to where I am in life, college, IT corporate, buying a home, learning a lot about the world, and creating an image of who I want to become.  I have been rejected so many times on dates that it almost seems as if the person who I have become isn’t really what society wants (or females in particular).  But then again, I have a “fan base”, of women in my life who care about me, support me, and always tell me what a great guy I am.  So I guess in a sense my situation is kind of like One Direction’s.  Snubbed by society, but loved by the people who matter.

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