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Being single in your 30’s is kind of like being a 10 year old dog still on the streets and never being adopted…It sucks…and here are the top 9 reasons why:
- The talent pool of potential partners is thin. If you think about it, the majority of healthy, attractive people are engaged in their early twenties, married by mid-twenties, pregnant by late twenties, and hanging on for dear life until their mid-thirties, when they’ll decide whether or not to put their hopeless, wounded racehorse of a marriage out of its misery. Simply put, the pool is thin at this age because couples are still a few years away from divorce.
- Masturbation gets old. At 16, I could make a weekend of it. At 32, when it’s time to stand up to walk to the bathroom for a towel and you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you feel a wave of disgust and self-pity. Then you hang the towel back up and forget about that feeling, but it’s there.
- This is more for women. If you want babies, this is the fourth quarter.
- When you finally land a date, figuring out all of the logistics between work, kids, and a babysitter requires a plan that feels like it’s out of an Ocean’s 11 movie.
- People are crazy. On one date, the lady’s ex-husband followed us to the bar and berated her in the middle of the Cheesecake Factory parking lot while I stood there pretending to check my phone. Another time, a woman invited me to her place. We made out in her dark bedroom until a baby starting crying in the corner of the room. Up until then, I was unaware of any baby.
- You harbor an especially strong hatred for Facebook anniversary status updates because they all start with, “X years ago, I married my best friend.”
- When you tell a group of people that you’re single, they look at you with the same pity as if you told them you’ve been diagnosed with colorectal cancer.
- Laughing isn’t as enjoyable when you’re alone. When I watch a comedy on TV and something makes me laugh, I get uncomfortable and always cut it off by clearing my throat and muttering, “oh man, that’s funny…”
- You have to go out of your way to post memes and create lists to convince people (and yourself) that being single ‘rocks.’
Hope you enjoyed this, and I’m sure you related to at least some of it!
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Thank you for the laugh, though I’m sorry it was at your expense! You’re fairly accurate about this and it makes me feel a ton better about dating at 41 years young, what with having my amazing kids and divorce done. Great post!
Daniel Fife said:
I am single and at 31. I am a male. I really want a woman and why can’t I find any single.
Just found this, and thank GOD for some honesty. I’m getting really tired of the word “fabulous” being shoved in my face. This is NOT sex and the city. I do not make a shit ton of money, have tons of free time to shop and have men lining up for dates that I can tell my girlfriends about later over cosmopolitans (the only “stemware” they have now and days are sippy cups).
30 and single is pretty lonely if you ask me. I’m having a hell of a time trying to find friends much less a boyfriend.
I think I’ll have some wine now…
– Oh, it SO TRUE! Society lives to paint a picture of singledom as some “Fabulous” alternative lifestyle choice. Right. That’s for girls great out of college with time of prospects and a shiny new job in a city like Chicago or New York. The plays! The clubs! Brunch! Celebrity sightings! All while wearing the latest clothes accessories by your manicure and blowout. Then you reach 25 and the Singles Train slows down for folks to disembark. It starts out slowly- one or two weddings a year. By the time you’re in your late 20’s, you’ve been in/to do many, they’re all a blur. Then you got 30 and the struggle gets real. People are moving into “grown-up” houses and buying chaise lounges (what are those for, anyway?) And kids! They’ve got two, some are in their third! Meanwhile, you’re still stuck at square one. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.00. You look too old and ridiculous going out on weekends, and really, who would you go with? Everyone’s busy with their families or fiances. You spend most Friday nights alone in your one-bedroom apartment with your cat and/or dog. You go through the guys on your Facebook list of friends that you’ve been building since college. Gone are the pics with fraternity brothers and playing sports. Now, they’re at farmers’ markets or Disney with their adorable kids and beautiful wives (I went through my friend list the other day, hoping to find a plus -one for an upcoming event. Here’s how it went as I scrolled: “Married…married…engaged…serious girlfriend…married…oh, Kyle* is single! I haven’t talked to him in awhile! Oh, wait, I forgot…he’s gay). And, if you DO manage to land a date with a guy who is single, around your age and has a decent job, there is usually some REASON why he is still single (I had one date, a doctor, show me his pictures of him bathing his pet bald pythons in his bathtub and another guy take my dinner time in a doggie bag without asking me. Neither of those guys for second dates). It seems all that’s left are guys who are either weird, unemployed, bald, fat, or all four. Ugh. Rant over. Going to watch Netflix with my cat.
Donna Reed said:
I’m glad the author was acknowledging the difficulties of being single instead of putting a happy face on the situation.
I was married in my 20s, our wonderful kids followed a few years later, and I have no regrets or any kind of desire to shed my husband. He IS my best friend; we’ve been married almost 25 years now. Our love has evolved over the years into something deeper and richer and even better than the fiery passion of our early years together. (Though the passion is still there, but now it can usually wait until bedtime.)
If you’re in your 20s or 30s, it’s time to get serious about finding and marrying your partner. You won’t find them in a bar or on Craig’s List or between the sheets. Cheap sex is at odds with finding intimacy and love. Save the hot stuff for marriage…it’s way more fun that way.
Lastly, pick priorities that matter. Beauty fades. Hair thins. Careers change. Kindness lasts. A good sense of humor will never fail you. Wit + humility = eventual wisdom. And above all, make sure you share a deep, abiding mutual respect. With that depth of respect, you should each value the other’s happiness at least as much as your own, you’ll be slow to criticize, and you won’t view compromises as a zero-sum game.
The Truth Was Said said:
Even for us men it really sucks to be single since most women are really to blame why we still are. Just too many very picky women nowadays that really expect so much from men these days unfortunately since they will only want the very best of all and will never settle for less either because of their Greediness and Selfishness that many women have nowadays which certainly explains it all. Most women want a man with Mega Bucks since they really want to be very Spoiled since it is always about them all the time which makes these type of women so very sad and Pathetic altogether. They just can’t accept a man for who he really is anymore since it is always about money for them everywhere they go which i can only imagine how very high their credit cards must be these days too. This is a very excellent reason why many of us good men are still single today because of this since we really have no reason at all to blame ourselves to begin with.