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**Disclaimer: The following story is true and contains material that some might find unsettling, and therefore it is not for the weak hearted.
A few years ago I met a man through a good friend of mine .She had met a man on a online dating site and he had a friend that was interested in me from looking at my facebok and social media feeds. The scary part was he did his homework and he was obssessed with me before we even officially met. Once we did meet after a couple months of him not giving up ,we decided to go on a date because he was very persistent and showed a lot of interest I finally caved .My first instinct my initial gut feeling was that something was off and not to date him .Always listen to yourself ladies. At first things were great. He was nice, respectful, charismatic, and treated me like a queen. Then one day, he became rude, abusive, and outright violent. I had to break it off because I have a 7 year old son (4 years old at the time), and I was looking out for his best interest. Unfortunately, the man did not want to break up with me, and started to follow me everywhere, sit outside my house in his car, call my job, home, cell, family, some calls were plain eerie along with death threats and heavy breathing. This happened all the time and I lived in fear, and then worse…he tried to do the unthinkable.
First, he sent partially nude pictures of me to my boss, then on a revenge website which got me fired, and a few months later made me lose my house because I now had no source of income and was afraid to leave my house. Then he took it a step further and showed up at my house in the middle of the night, broke in forced entry while I was home (along with my son), and forced himself violently on me, beating me, punching me, and suffocating me. He was a big, and strong man and full of evil!! (A coward if you ask me) When I tried to fight back, he told me he came to take my life and told his family before he left . He seemed to enjoy strangling me, He then suffocated me until he thought I was dead! So he took his hands off my lifeless body and walked into another room to fix his contact that poped out from him straining his face during the abuse, when I thought about my son coming in the room to check on my screams, I opened my eyes and the thought of him gave me strength. I managed to break free, grab my son, and run for my car screaming. The neighbors called the police and came outside because I was frantic and bleeding, clutching my son. The police came and they wouldn’t do much besides arrest him and let him out on bail after he had physciatric treatment . This stalking, harassment, and violence continued for months to the point I had to get the courts involved,restraining order,lawyers, more police, and even the FBI and my county goverment officials, before anyone took me serious.
During this time I met the CEO of Instamour at the time Instamour was just an idea, I hiding in my room looking for at home employment so I didn’t have to leave my house. Jason Sherman gave me hope and employment during this devastaing time. He believed in me and was horrified that this happens to everyday people. He even talked to the FBI and police for me to help with this issue .He had his own encounter with my stalker who was emailing him and harrassing him online ,I mean this guy was relentless. He was the only person that didn’t judge me, and instead he showed true concern and wanted to find a way to help. We spent many days and nights perfecting Instamour together to make it welcoming and safe for women like me. I was able to work and not be afraid because we had such a tight nit team .I finally felt safe and at home. This was my therapy, creating a safe place to find real love and protecting women from cowards like the man I had met. I went from having no hope to giving others hope as the Co-Founder and VP of an amazing startup company. I thank god everyday for Instamour and my life.
I suddenly realized I wasn’t a victim anymore and that fate was at play, I was meant to be a part of this company and something real. I was now able to help other women and share my story. “Each year 7.5 million people are stalked in the U.S. alone and 85% of them are victims being stalked by somebody they know.” Huffington Post quoted this in their article “Psychology Of Stalking.” I want to personally thank all of you ladies for joining our cause, and I would love to hear any feedback from you about our app or any stories that you might have as well. If you would like to email me directly, to talk more, or if you would even like a phone call from me to talk about your story, or our app, or anything at all, I would really like that. Leave me a comment and let’s chat! Also please follow The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence if you think you are or know someone who is suffering from abuse.
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I have had bad online dating experiences, thank God none like yours! I find most of the men lie about their age, their height, their weight, they put up 10 year old photos. The last three guys I dated were from various online dating sites.
The first was a narcissistic, alcoholic who turned out to not want children, I stated from the beginning I do!
Then after that, was a guy who shaved 7 years off his age, and put up pictures of his body building days, many years ago. I tried to still give him a chance, fell in love with his daughter, only to find not only is he in AA, but he is on psychotropic drugs for depression and anxiety.
Still hopeful for love, the next guy seemed great! Great job, age seemed right, seemed to be a bit too into me, but I can handle that. After a few months of dating I finally found out he has 2 children and an ex wife!!! I brought children up all the time, he never mentioned having any. nor an ex wife. I did a little more research on the internet to find out his ex-wife has the same first name, is also a redhead with green eyes! She looks just like me and we have very similar interests and backgrounds.
Oh, and he too is on medication for anxiety, and depression!
So, when Instamour came along, I jumped at the opportunity to not waste another Saturday night getting ready for an hour, meeting another stranger, to date and fall for only to find out months later that they have been false about who they are and lying about they want all along! When you see a video and hear their voice, see their faces, you get a real sense of what you are about to get into. Plus, not having to give my personal number out is huge!
Thank you Instamour for this amazing, safe site for single ladies everywhere!
Kristin Vp of Instamour said:
E- Sounds like you found some real winners with emotional and addiction problems . Maybe before you go on a date you should ask A. Are you on any meds for depression and anxiety ? B. are you recovering from drugs or alcohole? C. Do you have an ex wife or kids ? D. Do you have any exes with my name that look like me lol? That is by far a creepy story not only did he not tell you but in his previous relationship was married to your almost twin with the same name . Keep us posted I hope you meet your prince this year it sounds like you are in the right direction on Instamour. The date before the date 😉
Funny thing is, after my first experience online, I did put in my profile “please do not be on any psychotropic drugs, no depression or anxiety, etc please?!” And, they just lied to me. Months into the relationship it comes out, I asked “why would you lie to me?” Replied “It does not affect my life these drugs!” HAhaha, oh I greatly disagree! And there is no room for lies in a relationship!
Thank you for your support:):)
Kristin Vp of Instamour said:
There are some big signs I avoided out of being lonely and I had just moved to another state away from family an friends . Men that are stalkers get angry easily on a drop of a hat see they think they are the victims . If you are late for a date or your phone rings in front of them expect an explosion and them breaking your phone . Another thing is they want to isolate you they want to tell you that your friends and family are no good they hate you only they understand you and love you . Most of your conversations will be about what you are doing wrong in life and how you need him or her because on your own you are lost and pathetic. What would you possibly do without them they manipulate you esteem and mind.When you get into a fight this person won’t think twice to break your things keep you from running out they will push you aggressively hold you back . You will have bruises in this kind of relationship and find yourself scared and crying most days . Why not just leave some ask.. besides the brainwashing nobody loves you and your worthless they will begin to threaten harm on your friends family children co-workers you begin to feel responsible.Then they will show you how serious they are by calling them with threats leaving strange notes in mailboxes sitting outside your mothers house following and stalking your friends to get to you the list goes on ! So once you feel so hopeless and alone and all you do is cry they will attack you that’s what happens I have so much more danger signs but I listed a few hope this helps .
Marc Sherman said:
Wow Kristin……..I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to you. I had no idea. It certainly doesn’t show in your *sparkly* personality!! Thanks for sharing your story….hopefully it will save some other woman (or man) the heartaches and pain you have experienced.
Kristin Vp of Instamour said:
Mark thank you so much that’s the mission 🙂 that’s why if anybody out there needs a listening ear or wants to share their story on Instamour’s blog please do it can only help others . Please don’t be ashamed this happens everyday to someone and is never spoken about because our society can be judgmental and cold at times and if anyone understands your pain I do this isn’t something anybody wants their daughter ,friend ,sister , coworkers etc to go through . If more women would speak up maybe these violent crimes would be taken more serious instead of the stalkers or criminals getting to do this over and over to their victims .
Kristin Vp of Instamour said:
Sorry to be politically correct this stuff happens to men also so please share .