Imagine you have the chance to start over and create the life that you’ve always wanted. When you are single again you can make your dream life a reality.  Your mulligan (do over) may not be the way you planned or imagined, but you have been given the gift to go forward and create the life you want.

The first healthy relationship you need to have is with yourself.  When you have healed your heart and start having a better relationship with yourself, your entire attitude toward life and the vision you have of your dream partner will synchronize.  With ample healing, I can clearly see that the partners I once saw as “possibilities” are now “non-contenders”.

Here are 10 tips to jump start your healing to create an amazing life:

1. BE HAPPY: Forgiving yourself promotes healing.  Yes, you’re single again.  It as a second chance to have the life you’ve always wanted.  Want to redecorate? Dreamed of having a gorgeous wardrobe?  Always wanted to be a fantastic cook? Yes, you can have it all! Create the life you want. You have permission to be happy!

2. BE POSITIVE: Make a list of all your great qualities and why you are awesome.  Recite it every night and morning until you smile.  Positive self-talk is powerful! Happiness is for the taking.  Go grab a slice!

3. BE HEALTHY: Start slowly by eating more fruits and veggies.  Since you’re probably experiencing a lot of stress, now is a great time to take better care of your health.  This also includes skin care, hair care, etc.  You deserve to feel fabulous and it will lift your spirits!

4. BE SMART: I could write a book about all the advice I received (both good and bad) when I was first single.  One person actually told me that I just needed to, “go out and have some sex.”  Um, no.  Always, consider the source.  Regardless of their intention, you DO NOT need to take anyone’s advice.  You are creating YOUR NEW LIFE, drama free.  Be respectful but do not be afraid to say, “No thank you.”  Regain your confidence by making smart choices.

5. BE PATIENT: When you are healing, you should take all the time in the world until you feel confident enough to jump back into the dating scene again.  This might take the rest of your life, and that’s okay.  You shouldn’t feel like you are pressured into being with somebody just because you are single.  Having the support of friends and family will help cope with your feeling of loneliness.  Just be patient, and fate will take care of the rest.

6. BE INTERESTING: I know a guy who boasts about how he only watches TV and never really likes to go anywhere.  He says he’s, “a homebody”.  It was a very short lived (and extremely awkward) conversation.  Read interesting books. Have a hobby.  Take up a new activity. Join a club. This will help you heal because you are living life and not sitting around waiting for life to come to you.

7. BE FLIRTY: Ever see the Friends episode where “Ross Can’t Flirt”? You should bring back that little spark to your day (not at work!).  It may take some practice but it will help you heal by being more open with people and will help build your confidence.

8. BE ACTIVE: A solo walk in the park, or in the neighborhood during daylight hours (safety first, of course) will help you sort out your thoughts and feelings.  Use this time to really think about and plan the life you’re creating.  I have walked many, many miles by the river and gained so much clarity during this solitude.  A rigorous workout at the gym is great for releasing those endorphin’s for a mood boost.

9. BE AUTHENTIC: Part of healing is being honest with yourself and others.  You don’t need to reveal every secret.  Being true to yourself will help you understand yourself better and will lead you to seek a compatible partner.

10. BE FREE: Enjoy life to its fullest.  This is your chance.  Take it!

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