You guys know by now that I get some pretty interesting messages. Guys that wanna fight me and everything else, so let’s just add the kitchen sink. Now, I was asked if I could be kidnapped. THAT doesn’t throw a red flag on the play or anything. I don’t feel the slightest bit alarmed that he can’t even spell kidnap. I would hope that he is able to put the decimal point in a respectable place when writing my ransom note.

Listen feller, I don’t mean to throw a wrench in your gears, but good luck getting someone to pay a ransom! All of my friends have student loans and/or those little children things that take up all of their money. Not that they wouldn’t feel bad about it. I’m sure that they would throw some positive thoughts my way. Others may perhaps be perpetually parched and need their savings to satisfy their thirst.

If you don’t want a ransom and are trying to tell me that I’m so damn adorable that you wanna just hold onto me forever, forget it. I’ll take my chances for affection by walking into a room full of sexy bearded men with maple bacon cupcakes and a case of craft beer or sitting down with my lunch in a room full of dogs.

Tiny URL for this post: