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Every once in a while you run across a profile of two that make you wonder if author is joking or completely serious.

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Yikes. So, this guy is saying, “Don't bother” to a number of things. My personal favorite is the stipulation on the placement of the ex tattoo. Seems that it would be okay if you had it on your booty or back. I suppose he is only slightly picky. Should I message him though? Hmm, I do love pancakes.

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I don't even know what's going on. I feel like I'm getting a “talking to.” This gentleman warrior apparently prefers to date Namibian tribeswomen. I don't know about that, but I can hunt a pair of super sale-priced size 8.5 sparkly peep-toed Guess party pumps out of the jumbled racks at TJ Maxx. I personally think that is impressive. What do I know about lions? That they are giant cats in the Circle of Life and aren't always nice to each other. I also know that I would most certainly crap my diaper if I ever saw a lion outside of the zoo. I could be holding a high-powered rifle, be completely clothed and I would still be scared. Ah well, Hakuna Matata.


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