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I ponder sometimes why some people get married and some stay single? In our day and age having a partner is the least of our worries. Just trying to keep a good job these days is hard enough. Employers demand perfection. Top education from Ivy league schools but they end up paying you chump change and they let you know that you’re easily replaceable.

I was in a few relationships in my life, three in total that actually count . But my most significant was a 9 year run (I have now been single for 6 years almost equal time). You can’t say It was a lack of trying or loyalty on my end. But like every bad job a relationship ends the same way.  Packing your stuff up and waiting in the unemployment line pretty depressed until another door opens. You may say how is being single like unemployment : Here is how I see it.

1. Pay cut Unemployment is only 50% of your old wages and if you had a really good job, put in 9 years, had a 401k, had paid time off and health benefits etc you pretty much lost everything and have to start from scratch like I did.

2. You have to constantly keep looking for other work: You have to go online to look for companies that are hiring. You really have to do your research to find out the pros and cons, the perks, benefits and of course the location. It has to be a job you know how to do or have skills and expertise with. The hours have to work with your schedule or your child’s if you are a single parent like me.  The pay has to be enough to support the household. Kind of like looking for a partner online, you’re looking for the right match and fit and hoping that this new door will open and a better life will be possible.


3. You have to update your resume: No one wants to hire someone who has been  living under a rock like I was for 9 years. This also means sharpening your skills and hobbies while unemployed, getting your creative juices flowing and seeing what you are really good at. Same with dating, find out what you like to do, and what your hobbies are.  Being single is a really cool time to learn about yourself and be happy alone.

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4.Staying healthy and positive: You can’t eat ice cream and watch Netflix all day waiting for a new employer to call.  Same goes for a new future romantic partner. You need to get active, keep your mind busy, exercise, eat healthy, read more, and visit family and friends.  While you have a chance work on yourself, the better you feel, the more attractive you will appear during an interview.

5.Your time will be wasted and you will be rejected: Just know that you will go on interviews and not always get the job. You will spend countless hours on the phone with this new employer filling out documents and personality tests. Then come in for an interview and maybe a second interview if you are lucky only to waste time on gas, a nice dress, parking, and a babysitter, only to not get the job.  It’s the same with dating. You will have to go on a ton of “interviews” until you get “hired”.  You will have to go on a ton of dates until you find the right fit.


These are just a few reasons being single is like unemployment. Like I always tell my readers, never give up on love or finding the right job or place in life that makes you happy.

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