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Tag Archives: video

The Future of Dating is Video and Here’s Why

02 Wednesday Dec 2015

Posted by Jason Sherman in Dating Tips, Home, marriage, Online Dating, Video dating

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Android, dating, dating app, Dating Apps, dating online, dating tips, facebook, hinge, instagram, instamour, iPhone, live free video chat, live video chat, love, Marriage, messaging, okcupid, online dating, plenty of fish, plentyoffish, relationship, Singles, snapchat, tinder, twitter, video, video chat rooms, Video Dating, video online chat, vine, youtube

video-dating-instamour

In the 1980s and 1990s, video dating was actually pretty popular. People would record videos with their camcorders at an office of a matchmaking company. Then singles would come in and watch the videos one by one and choose someone who they wanted to go on a date with. Speed dating was also pretty popular because you could meet anywhere between 10 to 50 people in one night and decide again, who you wanted to go on a date with face-to-face.

Fast forward 10 to 20 years, and dating has turned into either a swipe left or a swipe right to find your next fling. Even though Tinder and other apps have made online dating a lot more popular, it took a long time to get to that point. Just three years ago when I first started building my own video dating app, only 15% of singles worldwide were using dating apps. Thanks to Tinder and other apps like OkCupid, Coffee meets bagel, Hinge, and others, online dating apps are now used by almost 50% of singles.

It takes time for a barrier to come down, whether religion, race, or the stigma of dating online. For some reason, people just never felt comfortable putting their personalities and pictures online and meeting each other in a virtual world. But now that it is more commonplace, people are comfortable, and they are meeting at a record pace. The question is, what is the next evolution now that the walls have been broken down to the world of online dating?

instamour-video

Video. Real-time video. That is where dating is headed. And here’s a few reasons why:

  1. People are tired of getting catfished. Everyone knows that photos are usually made to look better, make up is used, and good angles are prominent. But when you meet that person in real life, they are rarely like their online persona, both in looks and personality.  Videos will change that.
  1. Vine, Instagram, Periscope, YouTube, Snapchat, and other apps are making video more and more ubiquitous across the board. People are getting used to showcasing their lives using video. What better way to get to know people on a dating app except for video?
  1. Every evolution takes time to take hold, the online dating revolution took 10 to 20 years to take hold. Video might take another 10 years. But we are ahead of the game, and have been here for years.
  1. Investors are always looking for the next big thing, whereas today they may not see how big a market video dating is, one day they will, mark my words. When that happens, it will explode.
  1. Single parents would rather have 20 bad dates from the comfort of their home while the kids are playing in the other room, rather than getting ready, spending money and time, to have one bad date in person.
  1. On the other hand, singles could have a really good date using a video dating app, and then feel more comfortable in person when they finally meet instead of having that awkward 21 questions, uncomfortable silence, and just the weird first date vibes.

Overall, video dating is the best way to find out if you have chemistry with a potential single person, before meeting in person. This will cause a shift in online dating to the point where there will be a lot less bad dates, less catfishing, and more relationship building.  Having video chats and sending video messages prior to meeting in person will help establish some sort of foundation. Only time will tell to see when this massive movement will start to emerge. In the meantime, we are here, we are ready, and we are all about real-time video.

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The 50-50 Rule of Serial dating

10 Thursday Sep 2015

Posted by Jason Sherman in Dating Tips, Online Dating, Sex Advice

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series-serial-dating-banner

I recently engaged in a conversation with someone online regarding the topic of serial dating. This woman claimed that all men are serial daters and that it’s impossible to truly be in a relationship with a man because he’s constantly going on dates with new women. Ironically, my response to that statement was that I felt the same way about women.

I happen to have a lot of female friends, and when I see them juggling 20 guys on their phone, that makes me wonder who is really the serial dater here, guys, or girls.  Most likely it’s both. But I also think that this is a question of context. There are guys out there like me, who truly are looking for one person to be in a relationship with. The issue falls down to the 50-50 rule. What I mean by that is, the luck of being in a relationship with someone, or just meeting someone who likes you as much as you like them. You have a 50-50 chance at it.

Portrait of three women and one guy posing in a close up shot

When you first go on a date with someone, you might hit it off and really like each other, or so you think. You might never hear back from that person again for a second date, even though you thought you had a good time, but they didn’t, or they didn’t find you attractive, or they didn’t like your personality. Either way, it works both ways, and you have a 50-50 chance of it working out. If you ask me, I think those are pretty poor chances. So unfortunately, with the advent of dating apps like Tinder, people are just a swipe away from another date and another roll of the dice to get that 50-50 chance. It just so happens that nowadays, people are going on dates a heck of a lot more than they used to 10 years ago.

I don’t think it’s a question of serial dating, I think it’s the convenience of having access to a plethora of matches and being able to truly weed through as many people as possible until you give yourself the best chance at finding someone that you can spend the rest of your life with. If you think that guys are serial dating, maybe it’s that they just don’t like you, as harsh as that sounds, it’s probably true. There have been times I’ve been on a date with a girl, or I even dated them for a few weeks, and then I just found myself not interested in them, and I didn’t see a future with them. Wouldn’t it be smarter to cut it short rather than drag it out?

It’s not like I’m dating multiple women at the same time, when I do meet someone I like, I focus on only that girl and stop talking to other women altogether. But until I meet that woman who I want to focus my time and energy on, yes, I will continue to date in order to try to meet someone who I can spend time with. Isn’t that what dating is ultimately?  The next time you think someone is a serial dater, truly look at the situation, the relationship, and figure out if you are a real good match for this person, because if you’re not, there’s your answer.

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Why the Ashley Madison Hack is a Victory for Online Dating

19 Wednesday Aug 2015

Posted by Jason Sherman in Dating Tips, Home, Horror Stories, Online Dating, Press

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hacked
I have two words for the people behind the Ashley Madison hack: Thank You
Everything Ashley Madison stands for goes against what online dating actually is. If you are married or in a committed relationship, you should be focusing on the relationship, not going on a sleazy website looking for your next fling. Online dating is about meeting new people, finding a partner, starting a relationship, and hopefully…your happy ever after.
Happily_ever_after_by_jucylucyinspired
When I first heard that the Ashley Madison website was hacked, I thought to myself, ‘Finally some hackers who found something worthy of hacking and not destroying our precious world with their code skills.’ Online dating is a very explosive market right now, with Tinder leading the charge, but when you have Ashley Madison come in and rip apart relationships, even though it fuels the online dating market because people are single again, it puts a damper on the industry as a whole and gives online dating a bad name.
Do I think hacking is moral? Definitely not. I feel as though hacking should be strictly used to support the government and security of our world, not to bring down big corporations on a whim. In the case of Ashley Madison, I can safely say that they were asking for it. Thank you hackers, thank you from the bottom of my heart for making online dating a fun place to meet new people once again.
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10 Tips to Heal Your Heart After Divorce

18 Monday May 2015

Posted by Monica Gellar in Dating Tips, love, Online Dating, Relationships, Romance, women seeking men

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Falling-out-of-love

Imagine you have the chance to start over and create the life that you’ve always wanted. When you are single again you can make your dream life a reality.  Your mulligan (do over) may not be the way you planned or imagined, but you have been given the gift to go forward and create the life you want.

The first healthy relationship you need to have is with yourself.  When you have healed your heart and start having a better relationship with yourself, your entire attitude toward life and the vision you have of your dream partner will synchronize.  With ample healing, I can clearly see that the partners I once saw as “possibilities” are now “non-contenders”.

How-to-Heal-a-Broken-Heart1

Here are 10 tips to jump start your healing to create an amazing life:

1. BE HAPPY: Forgiving yourself promotes healing.  Yes, you’re single again.  It as a second chance to have the life you’ve always wanted.  Want to redecorate? Dreamed of having a gorgeous wardrobe?  Always wanted to be a fantastic cook? Yes, you can have it all! Create the life you want. You have permission to be happy!

2. BE POSITIVE: Make a list of all your great qualities and why you are awesome.  Recite it every night and morning until you smile.  Positive self-talk is powerful! Happiness is for the taking.  Go grab a slice!

3. BE HEALTHY: Start slowly by eating more fruits and veggies.  Since you’re probably experiencing a lot of stress, now is a great time to take better care of your health.  This also includes skin care, hair care, etc.  You deserve to feel fabulous and it will lift your spirits!

4. BE SMART: I could write a book about all the advice I received (both good and bad) when I was first single.  One person actually told me that I just needed to, “go out and have some sex.”  Um, no.  Always, consider the source.  Regardless of their intention, you DO NOT need to take anyone’s advice.  You are creating YOUR NEW LIFE, drama free.  Be respectful but do not be afraid to say, “No thank you.”  Regain your confidence by making smart choices.

5. BE PATIENT: When you are healing, you should take all the time in the world until you feel confident enough to jump back into the dating scene again.  This might take the rest of your life, and that’s okay.  You shouldn’t feel like you are pressured into being with somebody just because you are single.  Having the support of friends and family will help cope with your feeling of loneliness.  Just be patient, and fate will take care of the rest.

6. BE INTERESTING: I know a guy who boasts about how he only watches TV and never really likes to go anywhere.  He says he’s, “a homebody”.  It was a very short lived (and extremely awkward) conversation.  Read interesting books. Have a hobby.  Take up a new activity. Join a club. This will help you heal because you are living life and not sitting around waiting for life to come to you.

7. BE FLIRTY: Ever see the Friends episode where “Ross Can’t Flirt”? You should bring back that little spark to your day (not at work!).  It may take some practice but it will help you heal by being more open with people and will help build your confidence.

8. BE ACTIVE: A solo walk in the park, or in the neighborhood during daylight hours (safety first, of course) will help you sort out your thoughts and feelings.  Use this time to really think about and plan the life you’re creating.  I have walked many, many miles by the river and gained so much clarity during this solitude.  A rigorous workout at the gym is great for releasing those endorphin’s for a mood boost.

9. BE AUTHENTIC: Part of healing is being honest with yourself and others.  You don’t need to reveal every secret.  Being true to yourself will help you understand yourself better and will lead you to seek a compatible partner.

10. BE FREE: Enjoy life to its fullest.  This is your chance.  Take it!

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Why You Should Just Say No to Second Chances

27 Monday Apr 2015

Posted by kristinlasalle in About, college, Dating Tips, friendships, Home, Horror Stories, international, love, Love at first sight, marriage, Men seeking women, movies, Music, Online Dating, Press, Relationships, Romance, Sex Advice, Single Parents, trends', Uncategorized, Video dating, warped tour, women seeking men

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I don’t believe in second chances.  The old me used to give second chances and it was nothing but a waste of time. Listen, the truth is people don’t really change situations do. People just adapt to the new situation they are put in.  If your pondering whether or not you should give an ex or an old friend who has hurt you a second chance…think again. There is an old saying: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein 

I’m going to give you an example. I had an ex, and we were doing great; But when he went out with his friends he would act immature, and get wasted like he was a college frat guy.   When he was with his buddies he would pick up his phone and laugh at me while lying about the places he was at so we couldn’t meet up.  I wouldn’t hear from him for days when this would occur. Then I would see him add a bunch of trashy bar girls on Facebook after his Houdini act. He eventually broke up with me because he won a trip to the Miami Winter Music Conference.  He was an ignorant, immature, turd who acted like he was better than me. Now I step on men like him.

When an opportunity for a second chance came along, he apologized and said he had changed.  He was in a different place now, rarely drinks and he was so sorry he treated me poorly. When it came time to hang out he gave me the run around once again. Surprise…he was out drinking with his buddies at 1 PM on a Saturday.  His immaturity was shinning through, Déjà vu at its’ best.  I actually wanted to cry after getting hung up on by him .  I felt like a joke once again, but I knew what I had to do.  I told him I was over it and that there was no room for second chances.  The truth is this guy is not going to change. Maybe his situation will and he will find someone that will do the same to him or put up with him and his binge drinking, but I don’t have time for it. He lacks respect for women and at 34 years old there is no changing that.

He wasn’t the only one I gave second chances to.  My ex who I was engaged to and have a son with cheated on me for 9 years the entire time.  I left him for over a year when he begged for me back and proposed. He made a promise when he asked me to marry him.  Then he broke that promise when we were only engaged for a week and he slept with his ex girlfriend.  He told me he was working late that day, and the only reason I found out was because she called me to tell me what they had done that afternoon.  I was devastated.  I remember the tears pouring down our faces as I took the ring off and gave him my final goodbye.  I said, “Second chances don’t work because people don’t change.  Maybe one day you will not cheat on a person.  But not with me.  You will always cheat on me.” I lost him as a friend/lover and as the father of my son I would have to see him again, but the kind of pain he introduced to me over and over was unbearable.

When people ask me why I’m single I should say: Because I don’t believe in second chances. When making the decision whether or not to take an ex back and rekindle your old flame remember this quote by Joan Crawford: “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” Think about how that flame burned you once, do you want to get burned again?  You probably separated because they lacked respect for you and by giving them another opportunity to do it again you are saying what your self worth really is to you. I guess I compare second chances to the book of Genesis.  If you look behind you it’s an impending disaster.  You have already been warned, if you do so you will turn to stone, a pillar of salt. Just keep moving forward and don’t look behind you.  A safe haven is nearby and so is a better kind of love.

Until next time, one foot in front of the other, and stay on your path.

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Why Everybody has Somebody Else on the Side

21 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by kristinlasalle in Dating Tips, friendships, love, Love at first sight, marriage, Men seeking women, movies, Music, Online Dating, Press, Relationships, Romance, Sex Advice, Single Parents, trends', Uncategorized, Video dating, women seeking men

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If you ever end up being the other woman you will always get negative opinions and people stereotyping you.  So you can read  this and judge me, or this might relate to you.  In the end, this is the reality: people cheat. I have been on both sides, I have been the girlfriend and have had my heart broken by cheating boyfriends. I was cheated on every other day by my child’s father who I was engaged to, so my fairy tale life was shattered…I get it. It’s never a good thing, but it happens to most people in their lifetime. After we split six years ago I was back in the dating world and have had my own dirty secrets. From meeting different men with different likes, backgrounds, sexual fetishes, and careers – to hearing their different opinions on monogamy, such experiences can change ones’ entire outlook on love. My views at 22 vs 32 are completely different and more realistic.

For example I was in an emotional / friendship / affair situation with a taken man who helped me through a very difficult and confusing time in my life.  It was a grieving transition after my mother passed away. We related to each others’ pain since he had gone through something similar the year before.  I felt safe to share my darkest feelings and fears with him.  We also had an instant connection like nothing I have ever felt before when we first met. You can read about it in my blog “Why Love At First Sight Is Just Like A Fairy Tale.”  We didn’t get caught, but I’m sure if we had, I would have felt terrible.  If I hadn’t thought we were a match, then this wouldn’t have continued as long as it had.

I’ve always liked the saying, “Everyone comes into your life for a season, reason or lifetime.” Well I think this actually served a purpose and it was for a reason. And now that I saw over a year pass and my feelings never altered and I could see him as more then just a crush I can honestly say,” I love so much about him, mostly his kind heart.” Maybe this situation I had will grow to a lifetime…I don’t know yet.  The best part is, I know all you ladies are shaking your head reading this but we never had sex. So not all affairs are about sex.  Some are about timing, some of us have bad timing and some of us are settling for the wrong people. Sometimes we have to be in bad relationships with the wrong people to actually realize what we do and don’t want in our most important relationship. The relationship that will matter the most, I don’t know about you – but I only want to get married once. So all this trial and error will hopefully pay off.

Dating the last couple of years hasn’t been as easy as people think.  It’s not like it was in my younger years.  My girlfriends always say, “Oh you are pretty, and fun and you have a good head on your shoulders any guy would be lucky to date you.”  Not true. Every single, successful guy with a good head on his shoulders that is the least bit educated has about twenty other girls just like me waiting in the line of hope. They want to snag him up and they have a bag full of tricks to do so.

The most memorable romantic movies usually consist of one or both of the main characters being in a relationship or affair with someone else other then the person they are supposed to be in love with.  Usually the other relationship is all wrong for that character and they are simply not happy or they just broke up with someone who is a disaster for them but they want them back.  Sometimes it’s an arranged marriage or a twisted relationship they are forced into for money or prestige and they feel like they are a prisoner without an escape. Take some of the greatest movies ever and without the plot of this “other relationship.”  Would it be interesting enough to watch, would there even be a legit climax? For example: Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Serendipity, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Notebook, Titanic, Princess Bride. The list goes on, but point proven – this is what makes romantic movies memorable!

In a article posted by Carlie Alexa of CNN a poll of 3,000 people concluded that 1 in 5 people who are in relationships and married are actually in love with someone else. This gives validation to me that the divorce rate is up for a reason people are not thinking straight they are just settling with the idea of having someone even if it’s all wrong. This goes back to my theory that don’t settle for anything less then extraordinary there is a bigger plan for you. Go make mistakes, date the wrong people, get your heart broken, break some hearts yourself justify have some real fun and stop worrying. Once you find him or her and believe me you will know they will basically smack you right in the face you won’t miss it don’t let them go!!

Until next time here’s my quote of the day : “The moment when you realize that you were always the right person. And Only ignorant people walk away from greatness.”
― Shannon L. Alder

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Sex or Security: What do Women Want?

15 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by getloveorgetlucky in Dating Tips, love, Online Dating, Relationships, Romance, Sex Advice, Video dating

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keep-calm-and-marry-a-rich-guy

“It’s as easy to fall in love with a rich person as a poor person.”  We have all heard that line before, usually from our mothers.  In fact, the reason I’m thinking about that now is that got a similar line from my mother today.  Her line was, “You need to hang out with a different crowd.” Meaning stop dating broke musicians and start going to alumni events at Wharton where you can snag a rich husband.

This all got me thinking.  Am I nuts?  Life would be a whole lot easier if I found a sugar daddy.  Am I willing to give up sexy musicians for security?  Should I?

So I did some research.  Do relationships between good looking women and rich guys work?

From Helen Fisher, the goddess of biological anthropology, I learned that both having money and having good looks makes you more attractive.  No kidding.  Who would have thought?

Fisher is coming from a Darwinian perspective.  For millions of years, women wanted men who had the resources to raise her children and men wanted women who were fertile to pass on their genes.  Good looks and fertility go together.  Better looking women tend to be more fertile.

Under Fisher’s rubric, It is actually much easier to fall in love with a rich man than a poor man.  The problem is getting him to love you back.  But getting rich guys is a topic for another blog. Rich guy, gorgeous woman seems like a great match.  He gets her fertility.  She gets his money. But it is not.

University of Notre Dame sociologist Elizabeth McClintock studied 1507 couples. According to her research, relationships between rich men and great looking women don’t last.  Unless the rich guy is also great looking and the gorgeous woman is also rich. How could this be?

10_marry-rich_getty

Research shows that women are as shallow about looks as men.  That surprised you.  Didn’t it?  But it didn’t surprise me.  I am always trying to fix up my girl friends.  When I mention a guy I want to set them up with, the first question is always, “What does he look like?”  It is never, “How much money does he make?” or “What does he do for a living?”  Also, my friends look for pictures online and if he isn’t cute, nothing about his net worth is going to get her on that first date.

When I look at Hugh Hefner and his parade of magnificent women girlfriends, I think to myself that he is setting himself up for failure.  You know those girls are cheating.  I’m sure he knows those girls are cheating.

I read a Rod Stewart biography and when I got to the part in the book where he is marrying hot, 24 years younger super model Rachel Hunter, I wanted to scream out, “No, Rod!  Don’t do it!”  And Rod is kinda cute.  But not super model gorgeous, and at some point, she was going to dump him.  That writing was on the wall.  She bailed with the official reason being that she felt, “stifled.”  I think stifled is a euphemism for horny for hot, young guys.

What is my point?  Have I answered my question?  Is my mom correct?

Should I dump the rocker boyfriend?  Were the Beatles right?  “All you need is love?” Love doesn’t pay the bills, but he looks crazy hot on stage.

Should I hang out at Wharton Alumni events?  I could use a mansion and a maid.

“He had to really work to get that Porsche, and that’s his bait, and she sees the bait,” Dr. Fisher said. “She reels him in, and he thinks it’s short term. She has sex with him, and he falls for her. Now her babies can ride around in a Porsche.” This is a quote from Katherine Bindley of Huffington Post the article is called, Do Women Want Rich men? This is a great article .

I think they do but good looks overides everything . Tell me what you think ands share your views.

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Does Serendipity Still Exist in Love and Dating?

12 Sunday Apr 2015

Posted by kristinlasalle in Dating Tips, friendships, Horror Stories, international, love, Love at first sight, marriage, Men seeking women, movies, Music, Online Dating, Press, Relationships, Romance, Sex Advice, Single Parents, trends', Video dating, warped tour, women seeking men

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 So the other day I was on LinkedIn and a guy from California wrote to me that he wished he was on the East Coast so he could meet me. I asked,”how did you find me?” And he replied: Serendipity. I was not impressed.  I don’t think finding me on a professional website to network is an appropriate place to drop pick up lines. Plus I’m sure since we were in the same kind of field he just saw my profile picture and was feeling a little frisky that day. A couple days later I was at a cafe working and a nice looking gentleman came up to my table and said, “Did you smile at me?” I replied, “No I don’t think so.” He said, “Oh I just thought it was Serendipity I came here today and there you were a beautiful girl smiling at me, to bad it was only in my head.” I told him to sit and replied, “This is the second time in two days someone has said, the words Serendipity to me.” He laughed and said, “It’s my favorite word but it’s almost like a unicorn does anyone really believe in luck and chance anymore?” We had a great talk about this and that was that.  I wouldn’t date him but he was interesting and really had me thinking about Serendipity.

What is the definition of Serendipity: Urban dictionary says: The act of ‘stumbling’ upon something good or fortunate. Something that makes you happy. A chance meeting by accident.

So I was thinking of this movie I saw in 2001 called,”Serendipity” starring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale.  By the way, I really love pretty much any John Cusack movie!
I think in 2001 Serendipity was more likely happening before technology boomed. Now you can pretty much find anyone anywhere its not up to luck or chance its up to Google. But in this movie Serendipity is a romance comedy that shows how strong ‘serendipity’ can be. These two characters met, fell in love when they both had a partner, they shared one ice cream together. They went on with their lives but for some reason they couldn’t get over the fact they had this electric connection years ago. She wrote her contact number on a book, then sold it to a second hand book store, and he wrote his number on a five dollar bill. She said, “if we are meant to be together, we will find each other.” Then they left it up to fate and I can’t tell you how the story unfolds but you can guess.

Serendipity Movie

I had this same scenario happen to me and I wrote a blog called, “Why Love At First Sight Is Like A Fairytale.” The guy I think about, he chose someone else and he isn’t exactly happy, but that was his choice. Some of us have to learn that settling isn’t always best and to wait and be patient, there is a bigger plan there is someone out there for everyone. I also went on with my life pretty much diving into work so the rejection wouldn’t sting me like a bee cause it can take over you. But I never forgot about him, I don’t think I ever will.

Love actually is like a romance comedy and only time will tell.  Every date I went on after him I always compared my connection with my Serendipity meeting. I know when it happens it’s very memorable, it’s once or twice in a lifetime. I can guarantee when it happens you will never forget about it. You will remember exactly what you both wore that day and what you ordered for lunch down to the purple sticky note you wrote your number on, and your first laugh together. Now I wait, does this other person feel the connection? Do they think it was an accidental meeting and I was someone that makes them happy by chance? I’m interested to see how this story comes together.  I strongly believe things happen for a reason.  It’s been lonely waiting for him, I hope he understands Serendipity and how this is not a usual occurrence.

And for my readers watch Serendipity its a good flick and share some stories with me!

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How One Band’s Universal Love for Music Got Them to the Warped Tour

31 Tuesday Mar 2015

Posted by Jason Sherman in Home, love, Uncategorized, warped tour

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Most creative people have a passion for something that they love to do in their spare time. Whether it’s writing, photography, rescuing animals, movies, cooking, music, or a plethora of other interesting activities.  For a group of amazing individuals who call themselves Rivers Monroe, their passion is creating music and playing it for thousands of fans around the country.   On the surface, if you follow them on social networks, their lives look really exciting, full of laughter and fun memorable moments, as well as the support of fans everywhere.  Behind the scenes, it’s a different story altogether.

“We do this for our fans, because without their support, we wouldn’t be here today.” Said Mat Rivers, vocalist and keyboardist. “People don’t realize how hard we truly work on a daily basis, whether managing our schedule, keeping up with social media, and being in the studio for weeks on end to create music that hopefully touches the hearts of people everywhere and helps them get through another day.”

I had the pleasure and honor of interviewing this talented group for a video interview that you can see at the end of this article.  What I found out during the interview was that not only are these guys generous, talented, and creative, but they are also relentless, passionate, dedicated, determined, and they have been this way for five years as they have been working their way to the top of the music industry.  One of the songs on their new album (also included in the middle of the interview video below) called “Emily, or Every Second” is all about Universal Love and how it affects all different types of people.  It shows how much these guys love people, their fans, their music, and the world in general.

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One of the first things I learned about Rivers Monroe that boosted my confidence to know that they will succeed (and already have), is that they embrace digital media and social networks instead of bashing them and saying that the digital era is ruining music. When famous rock stars or pop singers, complain about how digital music is ruining the music industry I want to throw my record player at them. I was lucky enough to be a DJ & producer in the 1990s and early 2000s to witness the transition between vinyl and turntables, to CDs and cassettes, and eventually to laptops and MP3s.  The fact that Rivers Monroe has all of their music on their website and lets people listen to it for free, releases music videos for the world to watch, and teams up with companies like Instamour to help gain awareness, they are nothing short of brilliant.

“People think that being a musician and traveling on the road 24/7 is all fun and games. Don’t get me wrong…it is, but it also takes a toll on you.” Said Mike Monroe, lead singer. “You don’t get to see your family or friends very often, you live on a tour bus, you’re always on the go, performing late at night, and it can get very tiring.” Needless to say, the Monroe boys truly love what they do to keep up with such a demanding schedule. To sacrifice everything in their lives and bring the joyous sounds of their creative music to the ears and hearts of fans everywhere is truly a selfless act in itself.

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Not only am I impressed with these guys, but I am ultra-proud of them in a way that makes me feel positive and inspired, and makes me want to be as passionate as they are about everything I do. I am honored to call them my friends, I’m honored to call them musicians, and finally I am honored to call them human beings. I wish them all the success in the world, even though they have already succeeded by being invited to perform at the 2015 Warped tour, which is validation enough that they have reached the pinnacle of their success.

“Being asked to perform at the Warped tour this year is a dream come true.” Said Kirby San, Bassist.  “We have worked so hard to get here, and now that we achieved such a massive goal, it’s surreal to imagine that we are actually going to perform at such a monumental and historic concert.”

There is no doubt in my mind that you guys earned this and fully deserve it.  My hats off to you, and I wholeheartedly give you my Universal Love.

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How do You Pick Out the Crazies During a Date?

16 Monday Mar 2015

Posted by getloveorgetlucky in Dating Tips, Horror Stories, Online Dating, Relationships, women seeking men

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Yesterday a very eligible, single guy I know commented that it usually takes 6 months before the crazy comes out in the girls he dates. My experience is that typically it takes about a year to discover the personality disorders of the guys I date. With psychopaths, who are masters of deception, it can take years. People can hide their true selves for a long time and by the time you discover all that lurks in their character, you might already have their kids.

As Billy Joel recognizes in his song “The Stranger”, “I came home to a woman that I could not recognize, When I pressed her for a reason, she refused to give an answer. It was then I felt the stranger kick me right between the eyes.”

My interpretation of that song is that love is dangerous because everyone has their hidden personality traits, and one day those traits are going to appear and knock you the F out.

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I was with my last boyfriend for a year before his ex called to tell me that he was lying about his age by 11 years and I was with him for 3 years when I found out he was still living with that girlfriend behind my back. I was married for years before my ex husband literally kicked, punched and threw me down stairs.

I am older and hopefully wiser now. While the stranger may not come out right away, you can to some degree figure out who a person’s stranger is. You just have to ask the right questions on dates.

Instead of, “Tell me about your job.” or “What are your hobbies?” try, “What is your blood pressure?”

That answer will tell you a lot about the person’s temperament. If your date is hypertensive, you know that person’s stranger who you will eventually meet, is likely a workaholic, who is impatient, hostile, and easily upset.

I once dated a guy with high blood pressure who yelled at a group of geese on our date.

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A mandatory first date question should be, “How did your father treat your mother?” Domestic violence is learned. If his dad verbally or physically abused his mom, you could be next.

Throw into the conversation the question, “Were you ever in AA or NA?” That could tell you what you need to know to avoid future hell. People with addictive personalities are impulsive, have heightened stress levels and lack coping skills. Plus, 40 to 60% of addicts relapse. Every guy I dated who had gone through AA, had lots of shtick (Yiddish for impossible to deal with personality quirks.)

Lastly, you might want to throw into the conversation, “What prescription drugs do you take?” The answer to that question could chop a year off the time it usually takes for you to figure out the person’s personality disorders.

Remember, everybody has something. As my grandmother used to say, a good match is when the rocks in one person’s head fits the holes in another.  Don’t forget that you have shtick too. Getting clues about your dates “stranger” could just enable you to make smarter decisions about whether or not you are a match. For example, if you are a super laid back artist, barely paying your bills, you might benefit from a Type A, workaholic hypertensive.  Or these questions could help you get out while the getting is good and you are not in love yet.

How do you throw these types of questions into the conversation?  Maybe get your date drunk first.  Or ask them these questions like you would any other question.  For example, you could turn, “Tell me about your family” into “What was your dad like and how did he treat everyone?”

Will you be a fun date? No
Will you get a second date? Probably not.
Will you want a second date? Probably not.

One last thing… A guy I’m dating just got diagnosed with high blood pressure.  Could be the stress of listening to me endlessly rant about my divorce issues.  Yes, he has a tendency to tell people to go F themselves, but I find that endearing.  The rocks in my head…

 

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