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If you are like me and have been single for a while and are in the dating world I’m sure you have met many unavailable, unemotional types. Your feelings were all over the place numerous times over and over again. This can become very disappointing when you’re a relationship person and can’t find one person to be consistent with. You probably stayed friends with a few because you were romantically not compatible but they weren’t terrible human beings and actually tolerable as acquaintances. But the truth is, are they worth keeping around or could they mess up new potential possibilities?
The best part about dating all the wrong people is that you learn something new each time about what you are really looking for and willing to actually put up with. Once you are ready to let someone in and you are ready to be serious for a long-term commitment I think it’s a must that you get rid of any past influences or potential failed mates that are still lingering around.
Maybe you have some of these characters texting you or messaging you on Facebook . They tell you their feelings randomly on Friday nights at 2 am. If you have more than one of these guys/gals on your list it’s time for some serious Spring cleaning. The reason why it’s so important to re-evaluate the people you have lingering around is because they drain your energy that you can be sharing with someone new and deserving who is actually worth keeping on your speed dial. Do you want to end up alone because you couldn’t say goodbye to yesterdays news. Here’s a list for you to review in order to start taking a hard look at yourself and the company you have been keeping.
1. The high school/college Ex – Everyone has one or two, and they were with these guys/gals during the best years of their life. School was fun and you both looked your best. You enjoyed the time, it was a part of growing up and your first real relationship…your main stepping stone to adulthood. You will always have those memories, but seriously it was years ago. If your old school flame was going to make a move again or you wanted to it would have happened at this point. You guys are actually in a friend zone for life!! It’s over, sorry to ruin everyone’s fantasies of marrying their high school sweetheart. Honestly it ends up being you only see them as a good friend and you are not even on the same page anymore. You have experienced new things, it will always be a part of you but now you are a more evolved, complicated being.
2. The crush – This one is a hard one because this is someone you desired but, the liking was unrequited. She/he may be with someone or not ready to be in a relationship with you. You know the crush, the one that is hard to get so you chase, chase, chase. But then one day you’re just like, well this isn’t fun anymore. Then all of a sudden they are texting you like: “Where have you been I miss you blah blah blah.” Listen Mister Or Miss Crush, no one should have to try that hard to be happy with anyone…Real love comes naturally and is mutual. The crush is a tease, an illusion like gold at the end of the rainbow. It’s fun to think about, but try getting to that gold. It’s not happening, so let it go before a tornado comes through.
3.The random people you dated over the years in person or online – The flakes, the duds, the waste of time guys and gals who played numerous games. They are out there serial dating, but when they get lonely, they try to hang out with you and tell you they were wrong. Guess what? They are all talk! Do you want these people ruining your new relationship? They are selfish, narcissistic beings that think emotions and love are just a joke. They are a waste of your precious energy and will only lead you down a path of waking up alone.
4.The social media instagram / facebook friends that like all your stuff – Ok so these guys/girls are harmless, but every time you post a picture or status update, they like it and always comment how pretty/handsome you are. They fill your inbox up with invites to parties and nonsensical small talk. Yes they are attracted to you but you are most likely not attracted to them. Best advice here is when you do get a new boyfriend or girlfriend be very open about it. Post a picture with an update saying, “This is my guy or gal and I’m very happy!” If they continue to contact you let them know you are seeing someone and that they take up a lot of your extra time. So if you’re not writing back it’s because you are pursuing the relationship and committed to it. They will most likely respect your wishes. If not…block them.
Well I hope this helps anyone looking to take a more serious approach to dating and are just tired of the random stragglers and left overs that keep coming in as they please. Take control and take positive steps towards the trusting relationship you want to have or are just starting. Make sure it is steady and mature and worth the effort. Your new partner will be thankful for your cleanse and this will show them you want to start fresh and get rid of the interference. This way, you can give them your full focus and wake up next to someone, instead of being alone. Have a real relationship, not a wired one.
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If you have ANY communicable disaeses, you need to let a person with whom you could reasonably assume you might eventually become intimate that you have something. They have the right to choose whether or not to continue dating you. Waiting until you are close enough to have sex is like taking a birth control pill the day you’re going to lose your virginity: it doesn’t work!