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This Christmas Eve My boyfriend broke up with me. It was over the phone and it really sucked! I was going to surprise him the day after Christmas by flying into Buffalo and staying for a holiday.  We had a long distance relationship so I don’t even know if this counts as a real relationship. But in my head it did.  I think he tried calling it off several times starting after the Thanksgiving holiday.  But as Selena Gomez quotes “The heart wants what it wants.”

My first clue he was going to break up with me was back in October. My mother had just passed away.  He was so supportive and caring, I was so happy I had him to lean on. I thought this guy was the one. But he disappeared for like two days and wouldn’t return my texts.  Our phone calls were short and the tone in his voice was just unenthusiastic. When I asked him if he was out with anyone else he said that we weren’t exclusive yet and that he had gone out on a handful of dates with other women at that time.  Of course I responded back in anger.   When did he go on these handful of dates when I was at the morgue? The viewing? Or the funeral? He said I was being unfair and emotional.  After this fight we made our relationship official and we were now only dating each other.

The problem with this was I felt like I had forced him to be with me to be loyal. Or maybe it was when he told me he got rid of the last girlfriend he had for forcing the commitment issue.  A bit of advice: You should never feel like you have to force anyone to want you.  They should  feel like you are the best thing that ever happened to them. He obviously didn’t feel this way…I mean he dumped me on Christmas Eve.  My first Christmas without my family to top things off.  When I look back on this relationship, I realize he felt sorry for me and he didn’t know how to break it off politely. How do you break up with the girl that lost both of her parents on a holiday?

Well enough about my heartbreak. This post is meant to help others out with the possibility that they are going to get dumped. Here are the obvious clues to watch out for:

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1. Commitment issues: He was hard to tie down and to agree that the relationship was committed.  He was amazing in every other way but the word exclusive made him squirm. He said he was being careful.  That he had been hurt and his ex cheated on him. Really?  C’mon…Who hasn’t been cheated on at one point?

2. Distance: He spent an entire day when I went to visit him on the computer working in the other room and only checked on me once in a 8 hour period.  I watched runaway bride with Julia Roberts and other chick flicks with his dog.  I was visiting and had to take a plane to see him, if he was really into me he should of made me his #1 priority.  He was a lawyer so I kept making excuses for him – like he has important lawyer stuff to do.

Never make excuses for their distance!

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3. Wandering eyes: He looked at other attractive women like out at the Starbucks, a waitress, my best friends boobs etc. Its bad enough girls have self esteem issues. Nothing like your guy looking at a girl 10 years younger then you ordering a mochaccino at Starbucks that her parents probably paid for on their Amex.

4. He tells you to listen! When I look back at the things he said, I should of listened to every word he once told me. “I really like you. I am still getting to know you. I don’t feel like I couldn’t live without you.  You aren’t the one but I do like you.” What kind of mind screw was that. Well break it down, he told you he could live without you and he will when he dumps you.

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I hope this article helps someone reevaluate a pending break up.  Please share your break up stories with me.

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